Steps to Settle Your Spirit

Our society is set up so that we are never satisfied with what we have—because we are not satisfied with who we are. “More, more, more,” is the mantra we use to fill this gap. But this attachment to having and not being removes the ability for our divine higher self to activate in our life. We are so busy doing that we can’t be. This creates a state of upset where we are running everywhere but never arriving anywhere.

Do you feel like things are never done? Do you feel there is never anything you are settled in? Do you have FOMO? The steps below to settle our spirits into being, not doing, are for you.

Practice Meditation to Grow Mindfulness

Meditation helps us silence the inner voice that is always asking for more and get to know ourselves without it. Not just what we aim to grow into, achieve, or acquire but where we are in the present. Meditation is practiced in many forms aimed to address different aspects of our consciousness. As we become aware of patterns in our thoughts, we can address them better and more thoughtfully. Meditation is a great way to start practicing satisfaction with what is present.

Rejoice in Nature’s Diversity and Lessons

When going inward can’t quiet your restless feelings, go outward. The benefits of being in nature for our mindset are deeply twined in our bodies with the energy of life. Seeing the diversity of nature around us in all seasons is full of lessons on how to be satisfied with what is.

For instance, think of the incredible advice we can learn from a plant. Be okay with growing slowly, sink your roots deep…and drink lots of fresh clean water.

Volunteer and Help Yourself by Helping Others

Helping yourself is excellent, but helping others expresses the energy in your spirit in a more productive way. Rather than acquiring or seeking the next best thing, you are focused on making something that exists better than it is. This is very satisfying to our souls, and opportunities can be found that align with all interests. From picking up trash in the neighborhood to working in your local soup kitchen or food pantry, there is always something big or small that can be done for others and feed our creation for compassion.

Work With a Coach for Outside Perspective and Accountability

The last thing you can do to settle your spirit is talk to someone. While a coach is not always a therapist, professionals like an intention and mindfulness coach bring outside perspective and accountability that you cannot get from friends and family. As much as they might like to, the people who know us can’t always speak to our fears in a refreshing fashion, because they have in some cases lived them with us. Working with a coach gains you outside perspective through a goals-focused lens. This is an investment in your own growth and success, and why professionals like me take our jobs so seriously.

If you are looking for someone to trust with your journey into self-discovery and alignment, I am here for you. Let’s chat and see if it’s a fit.

Call of Self-Discovery

The call of self-discovery rings in all our spirits. Right now in mine, it’s ringing off the hook! As I finish up a continuing education program in spiritual intuitive coaching, I find it necessary to embrace the idea of myself as a work in progress.

Who are you? What are your goals? What do you want from life? These questions buzz in my heart and mind, and in my conversations with my own coach. And deep down, I don’t want to hear this call! I want to turn on Do Not Disturb. I want to hang up on this period of uncertainty and arrive…somewhere. Somewhere perfect where I won’t have to ask these questions anymore.

As a women’s mindset coach for 20 years, I am lucky enough to practically understand what I am going through. Growing pains! The truth is, I will never be able to stop asking these questions, checking in with my spirit, and aligning with my purpose. That daily work is part of an examined life. But darn if it isn’t exhausting.

Part of my work coaching for breakthrough success is leading clients to an understanding of the balance between allowing growth and arriving at milestones. The pressure to “arrive” in a finished product, without any growth needed, remaining rough edges, or questions, is constant. And, this pressure starts at a very young age in all modern human cultures. Just consider these statistics:

• The Mental Health Foundation of the United Kingdom found that 57% of young people have been so stressed with fear of making mistakes, they have been unable to cope. 39% have experienced suicidal feelings because of stress.

• 8% of Americans constantly feel dissatisfied with how they look, no matter what they are doing or wearing, or who they are spending time with, according to a 2018 study on behalf of RiverBend Mental Health.

• 2020 marked a 50-year low in American unhappiness, with only 14% of Americans saying they were “very happy” in a study by NORC at the University of Chicago. This was down from 31% in 2018.

I believe a lot of this unhappiness manifests from comparison. We don’t even have to be comparing ourselves to others. Sometimes we are just comparing ourselves to our younger selves, or to an ideal that we want to achieve.

That comparison doesn’t just stress us out, but the resulting stress holds us back from doing the work to eventually become that person we want to be. And guess where the stress lands? In our bodies.

For instance, getting in shape doesn’t happen overnight, even though every time we look in the mirror we desperately want to see that more fit, toned version of ourselves. But if we get too fixated on wanting immediate gratification, we don’t act to get what we want because it will take too long.

We have to allow the progress to happen little by little and forgive ourselves for any mistakes that happen along the way. The same applies to learning new skills, or even just learning who we are. We can’t expect to answer the call of self-discovery in an instant and arrive at a perfect state of satisfaction. We have to allow periods of change and embrace how things transpire.

This mindset and manifestation coaching is the growth I am going through, even as I finish learning how to help others better achieve these outcomes. We are all a beautiful work in progress that will never really be completed and that’s okay. In fact, it’s exciting, because we get to keep growing, learning, and amazing ourselves and others.

The worst thing to do in response to this reality is get stuck. If you need a partner to help you through similar experiences and create space for the next phase of your journey, let’s connect.

Natalia Harris: Cancer Thriver

When I chose to record a conversation with my dear friend, Dr Egli A. Colon, for the first episode of my podcast Gift to Shift, many people close to both of us cautioned it was too soon. That was in October 2020, just 5 months after her daughter, supermodel Natalia Harris, went home to God. But Egli and I knew it was not too soon. We chose to show up for that conversation the way Natalia showed up for life: with faith, intention, discernment, and bountiful gratitude. Yes, it was painful. But as we discussed in that episode, bearing pain for the greater good was also part of how Nati showed up.

I always told Natalia she was stardust. Her knowledge of that was evident in all she accomplished through the unwavering love and faith she manifested. Today, I still feel her presence with me in the stars and in Heaven, as an angel watching over me. As we approach the one year anniversary of her homegoing, I share this blog as another vehicle for Natalia’s legacy, message, and life’s work to continue to live on.

From an extremely young age, Natalia understood many things beyond her years. She was diagnosed with osteosarcoma at age 12. Aside from 19 rounds of chemotherapy, she also had multiple surgeries to replace her femur and subsequently re-learned to walk. But she didn’t just re-learn. She re-learned with intention. She always knew she wanted to be a model, and so she brought a pair of mom’s stilettos to physical therapy. She didn’t want to just relearn how to walk—she wanted to relearn to walk in heels.

Is it any surprise that thereafter she started her highly-successful modeling career? This journey took her from a few boroughs away in New York Fashion Week, to the offices of Cosmopolitan, Vogue, and Women’s Health, to the studios of Project Runway. To those who knew her as a model, she was uncompromising in her commitment to her faith in Christ and personal convictions around body positivity. She refused to hide the scar on her leg.

Before she got the Vogue cover, and before Season 17 of Project Runway, is when she was diagnosed with cancer for the second time. This time it was renal medullary sarcoma, unrelated to the diagnosis in her youth, and far more aggressive. Another difference was, this time, she said “no” to chemotherapy.

Many perhaps questioned and even condemned this decision on her part. But as Egli put it during our conversation, “Children have a way of teaching us how they want to be parented by us. A lot of times, because we think we have power over them we miss it, and it almost happened to me.” Instead, we all joined together and did research alongside her medical team, and let Natalia make her own, informed decision.

“And I’m glad,” Egli continued, “because in that year and 5 months after her diagnosis, she LIVED. She always lived anyway—nothing stopped her. But in that year and a half she went to Greece and Turkey. Love found her. They planned a life together. I had never seen her so happy. Death was the furthest thing from her mind.”

At the end of our conversation, I asked Egli how she thought Natalia would want her legacy to be displayed in the life of others. Here is what she said:

“Don’t be afraid to dream big, and don’t compare yourself to others along the way to achieve those dreams. Because comparison intimidates us away from going after what we want. Also, be gentle with yourself and with others. I want her to be remembered as a gentle soul who acted past her fear. Not fearless. Fearlessness can set a false expectation. She felt her fear and lived past it anyway…and made sure she left open doors for others behind her. Her dad and I, our whole family, we poured ourselves into Natalia until there was nothing more we could offer her. She is now the gift of all gifts, that keeps on giving.”

Even now, one year after Natalia’s passing, we still feel her with us every day. I encourage you to buy the book Unbroken: A Mother-Daughter Journey of Resilience, Faith and Courage co-authored by Egli and Natalia. I also invite you to listen to the episode of my podcast where this conversation is featured in its entirety.